Some people who have married for more than a few years may still have some difficulty talking about sex with their spouse. This could be caused by lack of communication and it is better to let our spouse know what we really want. In fact, some people find it that talking about sex with their spouse could turn into a rather unhappy, less pleasant situation. Couples with good communication can actually talk about their sexual desire and fantasy.
Lack of communication could rob us of immense satisfaction in marriage. It is important for us to talk about sex with our partner to get permanent and positive changes in life.
Based on this fact, here are four things couples should do to improve their communication:
1. Try to mitigate embarrassment:
Even between spouses, there could be awkwardness and embarrassment when they have sex-related discussions. Before even discussing about sex, it is important to deal with these feelings. Communicate them and try to be more relaxed. Don’t be uptight or nervous before talking about sex or our spouse will think that something is wrong.
This could cause our spouse to become more defensive and negative. This will make it harder to achieve the positive outcomes and changes that we want.
2. Reduce insecurities:
Before discussing about sex, it is more important to become aware of our own inadequacies, concerns and fears. From our adolescence years, we could live in a society that doesn’t speak openly about sex and other more sensitive topics. Regardless of our background, it is more important to be less focused on our own insecurities and focus more on communicating properly.
This may take significant mental strength, control and resolve on our part. So, when it comes to having sex-related conversation, we shouldn’t feel cheated and criticized.
3. Build a team:
Before affirming our position about sex, it is important to convince our spouse that you are at the same team. This will make it easier to affirm our ongoing commitment. We should also state that we want only the very best for our spouse. By being a team, it is possible to take about many more things with our spouse.
This is especially important, because it can be hard for people to be positively motivated, if they can’t make positive changes themselves. Couples who work and think separately may focus more on differences and in some cases, on negative things.
4. Be more confident:
We should assure our spouse that we are fully confident with their ability to do everything. Confidence can be learned if we have effort, focus, attention, commitment and daily practice. This also allows us to fix things that must be fixed immediately. It means, we can’t have sex-related conversation if we are messed up and broken mentally.
We should position ourselves in more useful changes and in a way that can change our desire for the better. By being confident, we could also convey more positivity and our spouse can feel more confident themselves.