Unfortunately, more than half of the marriages in the United States end in divorce. Many of the marriages that do remain intact are full of bickering. So, why is it that husbands and wives cannot get along? The actual reasons for marital conflict are a lot simpler than one might think.
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Stress
Plain and simple, stress is the cause of marital conflict. There are numerous things that can cause this marital stress.
The 5 Most Common Causes of Marital Stress:
1. Money
First and foremost is money. Issues related to money cause a great amount of stress on a marriage.
It is believed that the true nature of financial stress comes from an underlying feeling of shortage. If either of the marriage partners were raised in a poverty-stricken home or have been accustomed to believing there is not enough money to go around, there will most likely be problems.
Spending habits are also affected, which may create additional stress as the funds begin to diminish.
2. Friends and Family
For couples who are surrounded by their family and friends, chances are personality conflicts will occur. These conflicts can interfere with the relationship between a husband and wife.
Possessive friends and controlling family members can create an unnecessary tension between a husband and wife. This tension arises because of the opinions, judgments and advice given to a spouse from these individuals.
3. Sex
There are various problems related to sex that can lead to marital issues. This sexual tension can arise because of a lack of sex, too much sex or an undesired type of sex in the relationship. If a spouse’s expectations are not met, arguments can occur, which lead to hard feelings and eventually, divorce.
Honest communication, before getting married, can help a couple avoid many of the sex-related issues.
4. Duties
Many times a man gets married and thinks that he has replaced is mother. Most likely, his mother catered to him in some ways.
Men and women can be unrealistic when going from the happy, nearly stress free girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, into their marriage relationship of husband and wife.
Once they enter into marriage, high expectations are placed on each of them. They are expected to provide one another with the things previously provided by each of their parents.
One of the ways this problem can be avoided is for parents to teach their children how to care for themselves. If this is not done, they may be lucky enough to find an individual who thrives on sacrificing oneself. However, it is more likely that parents are creating a future filled with unmet expectations which will lead to unhappiness. This makes a future divorce more likely.
5. Children
There are often disagreements between husbands and wives on the best way to raise children.
Boys and girls are generally raised differently. For this reason, a husband obviously has different ideas on raising a child than his wife will.
It is also very unlikely that the parents of the husband and wife raised them in the same way. One of the best ways to overcome this issue is through communication and maintaining a unified front when disciplining the children.
Communication is the Key
In the end, the husband and wife need to decide the kind of marriage they want. They must then communicate with one another and find a happy middle-ground. The majority of people want to be happy and feel loved; people just have different ideas about what each means and how to create them in their marriage.
Take the time to communicate with one another and resolve any conflicts and/or unmet expectations before these issues create more serious problems. Problems caused can include health issues, anger leading to violence and divorce.
Tamara Wilson is a marriage counselor and guest author at Marriage and Family Counseling Degrees, a site with information and guides to top-rated marriage and family counseling degree programs.
